I know most of us would rather poke our eyes out than hear that famous phrase one more damn time: “It takes a village!” It’s infuriating for a myriad of reasons, though most parents can nail down the main reason why “it takes a village” makes our skin crawl: it’s so true, but nearly impossible to attain — unless you’re extremely fortunate when it comes to extended family or, as one TikTok creator put it, you buy your village.
“Every single successful working mom that I’ve seen. who seems to like have it all and have all the balance figured out, has one thing in common: they’re not doing it alone,” Casey Stewart begins in her TikTok video.
“Yes, I know we’ve all heard about this village that we’re supposed to be building, but what about buying your village? I’m gonna tell you four ways that I’ve paid for my village that is quite literally saving me in this season right now.”
“Number one, babysitters,” she continues. “I have put in the work to find incredible babysitters in my area through my daughter’s school, through care.com, through local Facebook groups.
Next up: she doesn’t worry about cleaning the house.
“Number two, I hired a house cleaner. I did the priorities analysis that I teach in my week program and decided that I actually hate freaking cleaning my house, and so I have the means too. So, I hired a house cleaner,” she continued before listing off a couple more ways she pays for her village.
“Number three, I pay extra to have my kid’s snacks sent to our house so I don’t have to try to think through healthy snacks for the week for them. Thrive Market has become my best friend,” she noted.
“Before I joined a program for other female entrepreneurs because I just got really tired of being lonely in this space and not having friends so I guess you could say I went out and bought them myself.”
In her caption, Stewart wrote, “I feel like this isn’t talked about enough and is somewhat frowned upon or makes moms feel less than for not being able to “do it all” themselves, but I’m telling you buying my village is one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself AND my family. Did you buy your village?”
Several moms chimed in on Stewart’s video, agreeing that the only way to get sh*t done is to pay for a village in some capacity.
“lol me with my full time nanny and once a week housekeeper. Going on maternity leave and keeping my nanny to help me … could not do it any other way,” one user wrote.
Another commented, “I can’t afford a cleaner every week, but I was able to find a cleaner that I could pay $100 every two weeks just to clean my bathrooms and mop my floors”
“I pay a fortune for my village. It’s totally worth it! I also have amazing friends — but I take care of them too,” another said.
Obviously, buying an entire village is an extremely fortunate and privileged path to take when it comes to motherhood, and most of us cannot afford cleaners, babysitters, and snack delivery services. We have to pick and choose. We have to make it work for us based on our incomes and schedules whether that be a community of other moms, an old-school ‘90s neighborhood village, or even a random assortment of kind-hearted strangers. Still, it’s important to remember that paying for help at home can allow you to accomplish more — and even make more at work.
