As members of our family, our dogs are constantly communicating with us — whether or not we realize it. Sure, we know that we should pay attention when they bark, but they also express themselves through body language, posture, and their eyes. This includes when they make eye contact with us. But what, exactly, are they trying to tell us?
Scary Mommy spoke with five animal behavior experts to find out. Here are some of the reasons why your dog is making intense eye contact with you.
Staring vs. Gazing
Before we get into what this intense eye contact means, we first need to distinguish between two different types: staring and gazing, according to Philip Tedeschi, a clinical professor and the founder of the Institute for Human-Animal Connection at the University of Denver, co-director of the Institute for Animal Sentience and Protection, and human-animal connection expert at Rover.
A dog’s stare is more serious, and may be accompanied by a stiff and still body, facial tension, and alert ears and tail, says Nicole Kohanski, a dog behavior and training expert and the founder of Wiggle Butt Academy. “Staring at another, in many cultures, including in canine communication, can — but not always — be a statement of challenge or aggression,” he explains. It might increase or heighten dogs’ reactions to a situation. Similarly, dogs might avert their eyes in order to avoid a confrontation and not engage in a stare down,” Tedeschi says.
But if your dog looks at you with softer eyes, relaxed ears, and a loose and wiggly spine, they’re likely gazing at you, Kohanski says. “We use the term ‘gazing’ because that is precisely what’s taking place,” Tedeschi explains. “It is an intense, often consistent way that dogs interact with their family pack, often directed at the person in that pack that offers the most critical information about the immediate environment.” Unlike a stare, a gaze is “a deeper, patient attempt to reach out — a penetrating look that conveys equal parts affection, earnest commitment to knowing, and an invitation all in one,” he notes.
Gazing back at your dog can benefit both of you, according to a 2015 study published in the journal Science. “The research determined that mutual gazing between people and their canine companions activates the oxytocin — or the ‘love hormone’ — system for both species, thereby producing significant social rewarding effects,” Tedeschi says. “Other researchers in this space have found that oxytocin makes us more approachable and easier to like, leading to the formation of mutually beneficial connections.”
Reasons Your Dog Is Making Intense Eye Contact With You
Whether your dog is staring or gazing at you, they’re likely trying to communicate something to you. Here are some of the most common reasons they’re making intense eye contact with you.
To Show Affection
If your dog is gazing at you, it could be an expression of affection. “For many of us, it has become one of the most reliable interactions every day that we are loved,” Tedeschi says. “Even from across the room, it feels like being held.” It can also signal a strong bond, Kohanski says.
To Seek Attention
Often, a dog’s intense eye contact is their way of seeking your attention, says Wendy Diamond, the founder and chief pet officer of Animal Fair Media Inc.
“Dogs quickly learn that staring can be an effective way to request food, go outdoors or for a walk, initiate playtime, and get attention,” says Susan Nilson, a dog training and behavior specialist and the owner and founder of The Cat and Dog House. “The behavior gets reinforced over time when owners respond with treats, walks, fun games, and other positive interactions, meaning it is more likely to be repeated.”
To Check In
If your dog is making eye contact with you, it could simply be their way of trying to “talk” to you, says Diamond. “Think of it as their version of a heartfelt conversation — they’re checking in with you or waiting for a response,” she notes.
To Show Excitement
Intense staring can also show focus and excitement to engage with their person, says Qiai Chong, chief behaviorist at Pet Coach SG. “We experience this a lot when we are using toys to train,” she explains. “In this scenario, the engagement is positive — but we have to manage this carefully because it becomes difficult to manage the dog if the experience turns negative whilst they are still in an emotionally aroused state.”
To Feel Safe
Does your dog ever stare at you while relieving themselves? If so, Diamond says it’s all about trust and protection. “When dogs are ‘doing their business,’ they feel vulnerable,” she explains. “Making eye contact with you during this time is their way of ensuring they’re safe and that you’ve got their back — literally.” They’re instinctively looking to their pack leader (that’s you) to watch out for any potential dangers while they’re otherwise occupied, she adds.
To Tell You to Move Away
A dog staring at you directly could be a strong warning to move away — especially if you don’t know the dog, Kohanski says. “Any unfamiliar dog giving direct, intense eye contact should prompt a person to slowly and immediately move away,” she says. “In the context of a family pet, direct eye contact paired with the dog having a valuable resource should definitely signal the family member to increase distance.”
To Show Fear and Frustration
Intense staring can also stem from fear or frustration, particularly in response to negative stimuli, Chong says. When a dog encounters something they find uncomfortable, like meeting a new person or another dog they’re intimidated by, they may fixate and stare intensely. “This behavior signals wariness and caution,” Chong says. If it’s not addressed, it can escalate, resulting in either reactive aggression (fight) or an attempt to retreat (flight), she adds.
How to Respond to Your Dog’s Eye Contact
Ultimately, it depends on whether they’re staring or gazing at you. If a dog is staring at you with intense eye contact and stiff body language, Kohanski recommends dropping your eyes to the ground and then away, and blinking softly.
“Take some deep breaths in while you intentionally relax your posture and move away slowly,” she says. “The goal is to signal to the worried dog that you are not a threat.” You can also offer reassurance through soothing words or physical comfort, showing them you’re a source of safety and support, Diamond says.
However, if your dog is gazing at you with soft eyes, feel free to hold the gaze for a few seconds, Kohanski says. “Blink softly and breathe slowly as you cherish a moment of connection with your friend,” she adds.
